"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching", Randall G. Leighton. Well, what if people are watching you dance? Who would those people be? What would they think? How would they react?
We spend all the time in the world thinking about how we can better ourselves. We read blogs, we listen to speakers, we take classes, and we make sacrifices all in the quest for self improvement. These are good habits, without them, we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of our predecessors. If you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards, and you recognize that. So reach over your shoulder and pat yourself on the back, you deserve it. Self improvement is your dance. So the question is... Who's watching?
When I talk to patients about changing their life styles to allow for healthier eating, I often get asked the same question; "What are my kids going to do?" Commonly patients tell me that "All my kids eat is bread and pasta, they love it." I love this question because the answer is so clear; "Don't you love those things also? What are you going to do?" We need to always remember that other people are more capable than we give them credit for. It's admirable that your immediate thought is considering the welfare of others before you consider your own. But it's foolish to believe that others would not value the positive change in their lives the same way that you will. The fact is, I'm not a parent. I hope to be one in the future, but right now my advice to parents comes from my experience with patients. My goal is not to provide parenting advice here. It is simply to point out an obvious example of how your choices can be influencial on someone else. Whether you are influencing your children, your friends, your co-workers, or your patients and clients, believe me when I tell you, you are influencing someone.
So the next question is, what will the people you influence think of your choices? Unfortunately there is no way to know for sure. What you can know for sure however is that if you make decisions that you truly believe are moral, upstanding, positive, and representative of yourself, whether they agree with your choices or not, others will have no choice but to respect them. Some people will think you are correct, smart, and worth listening to. Others might tune you out. If you use the Barbara Walters principle (always act as if Barbara Walters is there with a camera crew and a microphone to record your every action), you will never have to recommend doing as you say and not as you do. Believe me when I tell you from experience, living this way will give your words merit, and it will help you sleep at night.
So the last thing to consider is how others will react to your choices, words, and actions. Well, it probably depends on who the word "others" represents. Hopefully if it represents your patients, they will follow your lead and live longer, healthier, more fulfilled lives. If the "others" are your friends, you might influence these people who are so important to you to make more health conscious decisions. Maybe the activities you take part in when you get together will shift from expensive dinners out to cost effective, health promoting hikes, sports, or dancing. Perhaps, in the case of your children, they will have a healthier role model which would lead them to live healthier lives.
I'll never forget the night that my father made a choice that influenced me to this day. I mentioned earlier that I have never been a parent, but for my entire life I've been a son. I was about ten years old I was at one of my father's softball games. The league was extremely competitive and the game was a playoff game. His team was losing, the bases were loaded, there were two outs in the last inning, and it was dad's turn to bat. All I could think of was "wow, he must be nervous because I sure would be." My father walked right over to me, looked me in the eyes, and told me it was "time to be a hero." He wasn't nervous at all. A few short moments later my father sent a ball over the left field fence to win the game. Dad was right, it was time to be a hero. He just didn't realize to who. My father is a chiropractor, I don't think it's a coincidence that I am too.
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